I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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