i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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