Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
