I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
