Say something about gay babies.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
