I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
