bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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