glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
