he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Randomize
