Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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