It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
