i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
