To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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