Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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