I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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