I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
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