she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
