She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
