why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
