Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
