I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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