so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
