Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
