i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
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