well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We are all done wearing pants today
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
