we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
