im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
