so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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