that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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