I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
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