We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
