My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
