dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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