Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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