I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
nutella sex= disaster
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
