at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
