why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
