I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
