I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
