why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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