Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
