You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
