apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Drake has all the answers
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
