we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
