too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
