did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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