My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
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It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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