i barfeds in our rink
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
