we're chasing vodka with high fives
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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