i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
