More tranny stories later!
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
