you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
