Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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