I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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