"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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