It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
