Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize