I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
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