I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
