i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
