It's Friday. Sex?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize